My Testimony
I think it's so crazy that I've never truly shared my testimony from start to present online. Between my YouTube channel, Instagram, and other platforms I've used throughout the past five years, you'd think I would have by now! I think as a Christian it is so important to share your testimony because only YOU can tell it!
I suppose my testimony really starts out with my parents’ testimony. I'm sure there are many details they would both love to share with you, but here's the basics: both of my parents were raised as Christians. Specifically, my mama grew up United Pentecostal and my daddy grew up Church of Christ. By the time they got together, they were both Pentecostal, and that's how I was raised and what I am today. All that being said though, if someone asks us what we believe, we don't say "We're Pentecostal," we say, "We're Christ followers." My current church welcomes in people of all denominations by using a Three Streams experience and I love it so much because it feels like heaven. Believers gathered together without separation of denominations. What a glorious thing!
Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is that I grew up in church, and my parents grew up in church. That being said, my testimony, my story, is not going to be a groundbreaking turn-around type of story. Though still, God has definitely shaped my life and helped me grow in so many incredible ways!
I believe I have truly understood the Gospel from a very young age. Even in elementary school, I got the concept. I'm imperfect, I'm a sinner and Christ has died for me so that I can be made new and whole in Him. I knew it in my head and I knew it in my heart. I went to church and I didn't just sing the songs, I meant them. I've talked to my friends about Jesus and tried to plant seeds and minister to people for as long as I can remember. I wouldn't say I had a strong desire to learn the Word yet, but I did want to pray and have a relationship with Him.
I would probably say the first time I was ever truly exposed to sin was middle school. I was in around 6th grade when my peers started to curse and act out. When I saw that kind of behavior, I never had any desire to participate. I wasn't really ever affected by temptation to curse or get into trouble. I had had it embedded into me from a very young age that all of the worldly things were a waste of time, and that life was in Jesus Christ. Now, don't get this mixed up. I am NOT saying I never sinned. I am sinner and have been imperfect from the start, like all of us. I am just saying the typical worldly temptations of teenagers did not tempt me. I was definitely labeled the "good girl" at every hangout or party, and I still am today.
Getting into high school, I saw such a change in my friends and my peers. My goodness... I thought people I knew wouldn't change, but wow, they sure did. What people say is true, y'all. High school changes people. I saw the majority of my friends and peers acting so differently then they had my whole life, and I asked myself, "Ok, do I want to just shift who I am to fit in here or should I continue to pursue this Christian girl path and see where God might take me?" Thank the good Lord, 14 year old me chose the latter.
So throughout high school I remained the good girl, the different girl, the Jesus girl. I kept doing good, but I don't think I really recklessly pursued a relationship with Christ. I knew everything that I had been taught my whole life by parents and pastors, but I rarely searched out the information myself. The only time I read the Word of God was in church or for school. I read it when it was required of me, I worshipped when the music was on, and I felt content but I wasn't on fire. I didn't even realize this until after I graduated, and that was when I decided I wanted to be on fire.
After graduating out of my youth group, I very earnestly wanted to find a great young adult ministry that I could get plugged into. The only thing offered at my current church is a Sunday school class, and because my family and I live 35-40 minutes from church, none of us wanted to get up early enough to go to a 9am Sunday school class... I know. Sorry y'all. Sorry Christ Church Nashville. Just being honest here people.
That wasn't really the only reason, though. I wanted to find a community closer to home that I could be with several times a week and really grow together with. So, I began the search. I talked to one of my best friends at the time about my situation and she invited me to her church. She was in the youth group still, so I would have to go alone. It's a Baptist church that I had been to several times for VBS as a middle schooler, so I felt comfortable to visit by myself and check it out. Also, I don't ever really mind being by myself. I almost feel better that way.
So I tried it! I went in and immediately felt lots of love and goodness and kept coming back on Wednesday nights for service and Monday nights for small groups. The kids were kind and the presence of the Lord seemed to be present, so I thought I had found a good little fit (well, truly, big fit... the church is HUGE).
I was just about a month in when after small groups one night, a young man that I had remembered talking to at a movie night the last week approached me. He was a skinny good old boy in cowboy boots and a baseball cap. He invited me to a potluck dinner with some of the other kids that wasn't church-organized. I thought about blowing him off... honestly, the first time he messaged me was later that week on Facebook and when his name came up, it took me a while to place who he even was. I never ended up going, but I did have a movie date with him, and after that day, both of us unexpectedly fell for each other incredibly fast... way too fast. We soon fell into a steady relationship, and I thought he was the boyfriend I had always dreamed of. He was the first boy to buy me roses, the first boy to really kiss me, the first boy to tell me he loved me... the first boy I ever told I loved. The first boy to pick me up and sweep me off my feet (figuratively, that is... I believe I probably weighed more than the kid).
My life was going so great. I had found a great group of friends close by, I was dizzy in love with someone who claimed he was dizzy in love with me, and everything was just a dream. It was the life I had dreamed of all of high school. I had a boy to care for me, sing to me, and just be there.
Then the drama started to creep in. A couple of girls at the church had been with him briefly before we started dating and they teamed up together to come against us. I didn't know what hit me. I was completely shaken. One of the main strongholds in my life, my tough guy, I saw break down and just weep before me of the stress of persecution. It messed with us both so bad. I stayed on my guy's side and tried to push through, but in the end, he decided he couldn't handle everything his life had taken on, and he decided I was the thing that he could let go of.
Oh wow, y'all. The hurt, the pain of that thought... he kept his friends, he kept going to the church that contained the people causing the persecution, he kept everything else, but he chose to let me go, to kick me out, really... the hurt of that swallowed me whole. For the first time in my life, on the daily, I had no desire to get out of bed. I felt like the past several months of my life I had lived a lie. I had allowed myself to keep falling for someone who only thought he loved me. What was I to do with that information? Where was I gonna go next? I lost my guy, I lost my new group of friends, (I was welcome there, but I couldn't bear to see him) the whole new life I had finally gotten settled into was over... gone. I had to re-shift and re-think everything. At first, it dulled my Jesus fire, but then, the pain caused it to grow. To absolutely erupt in flames. I realized that this was just God's plan for my life, that he wasn't the one, and that Jesus was all I had, so I better lean in. I better soak him in, because that was, and is, the only thing that's gonna heal me.
Here I am now, today. It's been about five months of singleness and of truly, recklessly pursuing Christ and I feel so peaceful. His peace is just overwhelming. I now serve in church as a small group leader for youth, and I've recently started my own Bible study, Agape, (which means highest love) to help grow my own community of young believers in my town, and wow, it's going great so far. The crazy thing is, though, I would not be a small group leader at church and a study group leader to my friends if I hadn't experienced that break up. I grew so much in that relationship and in that young adult group, but when God called me to something different, He meant business. I truly believe that He allowed me to experience my first heartbreak so that I could use my testimony to help and minister to young people through my YouTube channel, this blog, my church's youth group, Agape, and places that I don't even know of yet!
How amazing is that? How amazing is our God, y'all?
So here is why I've told you my story today: God is always there. He searched for you and has found you and is longing for you to surrender to Him because you are His child. He created you and He wants you to make this commitment so bad. Here's the thing we have to realize, though: that's what it is, a commitment. Following Christ is not a one prayer, one way ticket to heaven. Following Christ is a lifestyle. We can't live the lifestyle in a incentive mindset, though. Christianity is not a big prosperity gospel of "I'll serve Christ so I can be fruitful in this life and then go to heaven." Loving Jesus doesn't mean you'll become rich with a perfect life. I can promise you, though, it is the best life you can possibly have here on this earth. It's the only way to live with eternal life and true peace in the midst of any circumstance. If this sounds appealing to you at all, I so encourage you to just give it a shot. Open up the Word of God and maybe get someone you know who is strong in the faith to do it with you and experience some Jesus for yourself. If you need a partner for this, I am so here for you. Reach out! I will happily walk fully with anyone reading this.
As I said before, my testimony is not anything insanely crazy, but wow, have I seen Jesus make a change in my life. Maybe you have a story too that needs to be told. If so, no matter how crazy or maybe not that crazy, I encourage you to tell it. Because wherever Jesus Christ has worked, great things worth sharing have happened.
Thank you so much for putting your interest in this blog! I plan to post frequently from now on and really pour my soul into this. Comment down below topics you would like for me to write on and share a tidbit of your testimony with me, too! I really want to get to know readers. Love you all dearly and praying for each one of you.
God bless,
Caroline Elisabeth
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