Let's Talk About Modesty

Ok... modesty.

Let me start off with telling you my expectations of who is probably reading this. I believe that currently I am talking to my fellow sisters in Christ. So, if you are not a believer, then I'm not going to hold you to these standards. What I mean by that is, if you don't follow Jesus, and if He's not the leader of your life, I don't expect you to do these things. Though if you're someone who really loves Jesus and wants Him to be the center of everything you do, then I encourage you to have an open heart to what I am writing and be open to the questions that I am going to include at the end of this post.

So, why do I think modesty is important for women who want to glorify Christ? It's important:
1. To Glorify God
2. For our Fellow Sisters in Christ
3. For our Fellow Brothers in Christ
So let's break those down.

First reason: modesty is important to glorify God. It is so important, that in everything we do, we glorify God. (1 Corinthians 10:31) We were created to glorify God. So, if we say we love Jesus, then everything we do should reflect that... including the way you dress. I know this is such a personal topic because our current society says, "You do whatever you want with your body." Really, though, that's not what the Bible says. Our bodies are a temple. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Our bodies are not our bodies, but God's bodies. He created our bodies, so we should treat them with respect and like they aren't even ours. Because when we're following Christ, really nothing is ours. Even our life is not ours because we have to give up our life to follow Him. Everything is loss, but He is gain. We have to lose everything in order to gain Him. This includes the way we dress. Girls, I'm just gonna be honest... being modest is hard. There are so many cute outfits that I would absolutely love to wear, but I just don't because I care about glorifying God with everything that I do. Listen, I'm not saying you need to be wearing long sleeves and no tank tops. I do know, though, that every girl is different. When it comes to things like tank tops, it all depends on the girl and how much they have to show. There are some shirts that I can't wear because they may cause someone to stumble, but one of my smaller friends would look perfectly fine.

So, let's get into respecting our sisters in Christ. You may be asking, what does that even mean? The brothers I get, of course, but how could my modesty affect a sister in Christ? Well, I bring up the topic of sisters because our current society is so full of comparison, and most of this comparison stems from social media. I see the most immodesty on social media. I really want to ask my sisters, why are you posting that? I know that sometimes I might want to just post a picture because I look good in it, but that's not really the why that should be behind our posting. Social media is breeding ground for comparison for girls. I think one of the biggest sins we girls struggle with is comparison. Girls... we've got to start respecting one another. I know we've all done it. We're scrolling on Instagram, and we see a picture of a girl in a bikini or a crop top and short-shorts, and we think, Man, I wish my body looked like that. Some of us have a better ability to just move on from that thought, but that thought can also eat some of us girls up. That can make some girls go, Man, I am worth nothing. Then there's the girl who has the envy-worthy body, and she's doing the exact same thing that you are. Other people will comment on her photo with the, "Oh my gosh you're so hot!" or, "Wow, you're so beautiful," and then she will think to herself, Oh good, people like this, so I need to post something like this again, and she falls into the dark hole of longing for other's affirmations. So what does that have to do with modesty? Well, it all goes back to how we dress and choosing to put our bodies out there to get attention. You might say, "That's not true! I dress for myself!" but whatever we do, aren't we supposed to do it for God - not ourselves? So, what are your intentions? Are you trying to get attention from other people? Are you trying to prove to yourself that you're pretty enough? I have to ask myself these questions. Modesty is just a posture of your heart. The way a woman dresses really reflects what she wants. Let's have a single girl moment here. (Me, holla!) Girls, if you're really on the lookout for a Godly guy, (as I am) and you're dressing in a revealing way, you're not putting out what a Godly guy is looking for. He's going to be looking for someone that's so confident in herself and her body that she doesn't have to show her body to the world to confirm that she's pretty. Since it all starts in the heart, I would just recommend doing a heart check. Ask yourself, why am I dressing the way that I am? Dress modestly for your fellow sisters. I know for me I've thought countless times about how I really wish I had a flat stomach or smaller legs. I've had to ask myself, though, why do I want that? God made me the way that I am, and it's fine. Why do I need a flatter stomach or smaller legs? My answer always boiled down to how I wanted to please people. I've realized now though that I don't have to be what the world puts on Instagram of a flat tummy and a thigh gap. I had to get out of that deep, nasty, cycle. Girls, if we didn't body pose all over social media, I don't think comparison would be as big of a deal. It all starts with modesty, and modesty all starts with the posture of your heart and what you are looking for. If you're distracted by how your body looks, then you're distracted from what you should be doing, which is sharing the Gospel with other people. You're looking at yourself, which is selfish, when we should be looking to others, being selfless, asking what they need.

So, let's get into out of respect for our brothers in Christ. Our society is so. against. guys. Feminism tells us we can "do what we want with our body, because it's our body." The thing is though... it's not our body. Our bodies are just God's bodies on loan. Also, who are we to say that we can do what we want, especially when we know that our brothers in Christ our prone to visual sexual sin... that's just how they are made. So, why wouldn't we help a brother out by not dressing in a revealing way, so that they won't stumble? (Romans 13:14) Why would we even tempt them? If your friend was on a diet, why would you put a piece of chocolate cake in their face? That's really what we are doing. We're emphasizing our sexual parts that guys are attracted to. We all know it's hard when we're tempted - we all fall short. So, girls! Help a brother out and don't tempt them. That is the definition of selfless love. Also, girls... the kind of guy that you should be looking for will be so attracted to that. To quote Jonathan Pokluda from The Porch podcast, "If you get a guy with your body, you will lose a guy with your body. There's always going to be a better body than yours." I hear so many girls say, "Why can't I find the right guy?" but it all goes back to what you are attracting. Honestly, what are you using as bait? Is it your inner beauty, or your body? What kind of guy are you attracting?

I went to one of the Godliest guys I know and I asked him three questions about modesty. I want you girls to understand this concept from a guys standpoint. We're supposed to be helping each other out, building each other up, and that includes the way we dress. So, here's what I asked him, and here's what he said:

Caroline: "Do you notice when a girl is modest?"

Mason: "Yes, because I look at modesty as not just the clothing that a girl wears, but as a personality. The way a girl carries herself; not to flaunt herself, but to show she cares for more than reactions from others about her look. I think it is attractive."

Caroline: "Does modesty help you fight against sin?"

Mason: "I don't know if I would say modesty helps me fight against sin, but I could say that I am less likely to create lustful thoughts in my head. If the girl is modest, then her actions will attract you to something else other than her body."

Caroline: "Do you see a girl as less pretty when she is modest?"

Mason: "I have learned to see a girl as more attractive when she is modest, because as a man I should look at how can I build a life with this woman, not what can they do with their body which brings ephemeral happiness instead of joy that spans through moments of ups and downs."

This is a young man that I trusted his opinion and I know he is pursuing Christ wholeheartedly.

So y'all. Modesty equals confidence. When you are modest, it says to the world, "I am confident enough in my body and who God made me to be that I don't have to show myself off." Modesty is all about helping other people and respecting yourself enough to correctly use the body that God has given you.

So, now I have some questions for you! Ask yourself these things:

1. Does the way you dress glorify God?

2. Why do you dress the way you do?

3. Do you think God is pleased with the way you dress?

I encourage you to just pray about this and search your heart. I will be doing the same. I love you, and God loves you.