Straying from Gossip

Gossip. It's a topic most people (including myself) probably don't want to discuss. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. We don't want to recognize that it's there.

Gossip seems to be everywhere you look nowadays. You may not even recognize it. Think about when you go to the grocery store, and you see one of the trashy tabloids on the stand near the checkout. "Famous couple getting a divorce!" It's probably not true. Most of it isn't. Yet there are people who get paid to write this stuff. It's their literal job to gossip. So, how is that different from our day to day gossip? It's easy to point our fingers at these people and say, "Wow - whoever wrote this must be a terrible person!" But... don't we do that with people we actually know?

So, what is gossip? Gossip is saying something about someone who isn't there. Saying something where, if that person knew you said it, they would be hurt. Gossip isn't from God. It grieves the heart of God when you talk about His children behind their back. Gossip is always sinful.

Do we recognize that, though? When we say "Oh, bless her heart, she's going through this...." do we recognize that that is sin? That is gossip? I know what you're thinking. That sounds harsh! What if I'm worried about my friend? What if I need to vent to feel better? How is that a sin?

I think it's a sin because God loves you. He knows that "gossip betrays confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret." (Proverbs 13) Gossip betrays confidence, but God wants you to be trusted because you represent and share the Gospel. Always remember, too... anyone who will say something to you about someone else, will say something about you to someone else. That's the reality. So anyone who says something about someone else is really saying, "I'm not a trustworthy person. Here's who I am: I talk about people behind their back." So maybe you're thinking, "Well then I don't want to be a gossip because then I won't be trusted." You don't want to be a gossip because it grieves God's heart.

Did you know that gossip can come off as a prayer request? "Hey everyone, let's pray for him because of this..." "Hey guys, can you pray for this situation? I just need to vent about it real quick...."

Most problems we feel like we have to gossip about could be solved by just going to talk to that person. Matthew 18 says, "If someone is in sin, you go and you tell them." Matthew 5 says you "leave your gift at the altar, God doesn't want your worship right now, run and be reconciled to them." Do we actually practice those verses? Are we actually applying God's Word?

Let's paint a scenario. Let's say your church going roommate is coming home at odd hours because they've been sneaking to sleep with their boyfriend. Would it be too forceful to go to that person and talk to them? No. You go to that person. You say, "Hey girl, I love you. I know I'm not going to say this right, I sure I'm gonna mess this up... I hope you see that I'm doing this because I care about you. I noticed you didn't come home last night. I'm led to believe that you stayed with your boyfriend. I know that's not who you want to be as a Christian. How can I help you?" It's ok to have that conversation. It's ok to be nervous. Crazy, right? But Scripture tells us to call out fellow believers! What if you get into a fight? What if they get angry and never speak to you again?

You can't judge obedience by the outcome.

Sometimes when you're obedient to God, the outcome is poor. You just have to remember that you are faithful. We have to judge obedience by knowing what God says to do and doing it.

You can do this with kindness and caring heart. You don't have to be a jerk about it or get angry. You can be calm, kind, and do the right thing, and then God is honored. God is not honored, though, when we do the wrong thing and go and talk to anybody else except for the person we're having an issue with. We have to stop being cowards and start going up to the person and telling them we think they're in sin but we may be wrong, because we're not perfect. But we have to ask. Sometimes we can even do the right thing and heart someone's feelings. Just because someone's feelings are hurt doesn't mean we did the wrong thing. Whose feelings do we want to hurt... our friend's or God's? The Scripture says, "Faithful are the wounds of the friend." It's almost like we've forgotten that! That God calls friends people who faithfully wound one another!

I recommend reading Proverbs 6:28. Sometimes when we have gossip, it can be exciting. We will think, "Man, who can I tell? Let me just text him this..." There's something exciting about it, but it rots our heart. It's destroying us, and God wants us and doesn't want us to do that.

Maybe you're thinking, "Well gossip is such a part of my conversations with friends... if my friend starts to gossip, how do I tell her to stop? She'll judge me." If your friend isn't a believer, they should be gossiping. I wouldn't focus on their gossip as much as the Gospel. Share the Gospel with non-believers, and the Scriptures with believers. Honestly, if we call out a gossip, they might stop telling us stuff.

Read Proverbs 20:19. The Gospel repeats the idea that talking about people behind their back creates unity. If we're trying to bring different social groups together and create unity, then a gossip isn't playing for that team.

Something that convicts me is in James 3 where it says, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing - my brothers and sisters, that should not be." That always stops me in my tracks right there!

If you're reading this and feel like you struggle with this problem, start with prayer. Ask God to give you the desire to spread love and use your tongue for good.

It's ok to have fun and cut up, but let's have conversations that will matter 100 years from now! Conversations that matter don't include gossip. Then if you're not gossiping, you know you have nothing to hide! We won't have to worry about bad things getting out that we've said.

Thanks for reading today! Sending love to every one of you whether you are still stuck in your home or back out living your day to day life. See you soon!